Don’t pity them. Don’t look at them as downtrodden, unfortunate or those to be pitied. I did and learned in a short period of time that I was grossly mistaken.
My initial visit to the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center as a patient was overwhelming. The huge complex is a busy place with thousands of doctors, nurses, scientists and medical staff at work providing the best cancer care in the world. Many more thousands of patients and caregivers crowd the parking garages, elevators, treatment centers, exam rooms and waiting areas. So many patients. Too many patients. At first glance you see so much suffering. So much unbearable pain. I felt so bad for them. I was fearful of joining them.
It’s easy to spot the patients. They bear visible scars of their cancer battles displaying a bald head, a slight build, drooping shoulders and a discernable lack of energy. They wear a white wristband with their name, date of birth, medical record number and identifying bar codes. These poor souls don’t scurry from one appointment to the next. They plod through each painful step to reach their destinations. Many can’t even plod. Their loving caregivers guide them in wheelchairs from one place to the next.
The waiting rooms are full of them. Many patients are laying on couches covered with blankets resting after their treatments. Many others are in obvious pain seated in recliners unable to leave until the side effects subside. Most look weak and exhausted. Patients like me waiting for treatments didn’t exhibit much happiness, either. Most seemed weary from earlier appointments dreading the discomfort they were soon to face. These patients didn’t have many options. The only reason they would endure the mutilation and poisoning of their bodies is because the alternative is even more frightful. They may be a shell of what they used to be but they are still alive and fighting for every breath they are given.
The pity I felt during my first visit faded quickly. A deep respect replaced that pity as I came to see my fellow patients as a special breed of courageous people. They are fighters. They are warriors doing battle every day with a long list of foes waiting to attack, inflict pain and ultimately destroy them. They know they may lose the battle but they fight anyway.
While others float effortlessly from one routine activity to another, cancer patients struggle through the simplest of tasks. Getting out of bed takes an extraordinary effort. They draw on strength they don’t have to stand and brush their teeth hoping not to see blood on the toothbrush. They force themselves to eat a breakfast that sickens their stomachs because they know they have to digest something, anything to survive. Where do they get that kind of strength, courage and perseverance?
They live for the moment. They know their days are numbered and their best days are behind them. Yet, they fight through pain and exhaustion to see a friend smile, hear the laughter of a child or witness the beauty of a butterfly landing softly on a backyard bloom.
The cancer patients I met in those waiting rooms at M.D. Anderson were among the kindest, most loving and most generous people I have ever met. They are the first to help, share, support and encourage others. They are the first to fight through their own discomfort to help others endure theirs. They are the first to smile as they reach out to shake a hand or rise slowly for a hug. They don’t restrain their love for others and demonstrate that love in many ways. I’m happy to be the recipient of that kind of love and my life improves every time I have the chance to take a seat next to them. They are an example of what all of us could be.
Don’t pity them. Cherish them. Learn from them. Be inspired by them. Pray for the supernatural strength, perseverance and determination they display every day.
If you are lucky, you’ll have the opportunity to know someone who is fighting through a difficult health issue. Talk to them. Spend some time with them. Encourage them and let them encourage you. Listen to their stories and experience their heroism. See life from their point of view and your life will never be the same.